Have you survived Monday?

I'm waiting to find out if the rest of my family did...

We told the teenager that there is to be no use of power tools without a grown up. She's doing online school from home for 8th grade (it's long story that starts with bullying...) She obeyed the No Power Tools rule, and decided to do some whittling/wood carving instead.

At noon.

She emailed me at 4 and said her thumb hurts but the bleeding has almost stopped.

That's when my heart stopped.

Since Frank is a chef who is oh-too-familiar with first aid (sharp knives and hot oven doors) I told her to have him examine the slice and gouge, and so I'm at work waiting to hear the news from "Dr. Dad" on whether I should go home or meet them at Urgent care for stitches.

*sigh* Yay, good times.

PS: Score one for Google. She Googled "first aid" and learned to clean the wound, apply pressure, and hold it above her head to make the bleeding stop.

I think that's when she said she then went back to whittling and turned the slice into a gouge.
...which is probably why it wouldn't stop bleeding the second time.

Microwave Peanut Brittle

This past Christmas Frank wanted peanut brittle. A friend of mine copied her microwave recipe and I had a stovetope recipe on standby... just in case. I don't trust microwave recipes after the "microwaved cupcake incident of 1983." Without having to describe the soggy wooden texture of these delicate cakes, I'm sure you understand my hesitation to microwave anything more than a frozen burrito.

Microwave Nut Brittle, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

This batch above (#4) is made with mixed nuts. 
The varying nut flavors are unexpected and fabulous.

The first batch - in the microwave - was slightly burnt and a little chewy. It was raining at the time, so it could have been the rain that caused the problems, but I blamed the microwave.

The second batch - on the stove - burned so badly I had to pour the liquid black sugar into the trash and start over.

The third batch - also on the stove - was watched carefully and tested as it cooked through each candy stage: soft ball, hard ball, hard crack... quick add the nuts, stir, add the baking soda... floooom! It puffed up over the top of the pot and all over the stove so quickly I didn't have time to stir. I hurried to pour the hot brittle onto the parchment covered pan and it went over the edge and hardened into a thick sticky inedible cement.

And it was burned, anyway.

The fourth and fifth batches were masterpieces.
And yes, they were made in the microwave. Would you like the recipe?

Mix together in 1 1/2 qt casserole:

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup white corn syrup

Microwave on high 4 minutes.

Stir in:

1 cup roasted salted peanuts

Microwave on high 4 minutes.

Add and blend well:

1 tsp butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

Microwave 1-2 minutes more. Peanuts will be lightly browned and the syrup very hot.

Add:

1 tsp baking soda (sifted)

Gently stir until light and foamy.

Pour mixture onto lightly greased cookie sheet, parchment, or silpat (a non-stick silicone baking mat). Let cool 1/2 to 1 hour. When cool, break into small pieces and store in airtight container.

Makes about 1 pound.

In batch #4 I substituted mixed nuts for the peanuts. 

In batch #5 I used peanuts but instead of vanilla I added a tsp of lime juice and about 2 tablespoons of chili powder. Oh yeah... This one is addictive. I've got to make a 6th batch of this variety, only I think I'm going to add a little cayenne to it so it has a more obvious kick.

Microwave Peanut Brittle with chili and lime, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Thought for the day

Women are Angels and when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly.........


On a broomstick.



We are flexible.

Bacon biscuits

Bacon biscuits, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

There is no law against putting butter on top of a bacon biscuit, so I have not committed any crime here.

Recipe:
3c all purpose flour
4 tsp baking powder
1Tb sugar
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cream of tartar
3/4 c fat - most recipes call for shortening or butter; I used only bacon fat
1 1/4 c buttermilk

Sift the dry ingredients together. Cut in fat with a pastry blender until the mixture has a coarse sandy texture. Add the liquid and stir with a fork until just moistened.

Turn out onto floured surface (will be very sticky) and knead only about 3 or 4 times until mixture holds together.

Use a rolling pin and roll to about 1 inch thick. Cut into rounds with biscuit cutter or large drinking glass. Try to cut as many rounds as possible from the dough because biscuits made from the second rolling will not be as tender or flaky. You want to handle the dough as little as possible.

Place cut rounds onto flat, ungreased baking pan and bake in a hot oven (450F) for about 10 minutes.

Serve hot.

Try them split, spread with butter, and drizzled with pancake syrup.
Go ahead, it's not illegal... yet.

How clean is your coffee?

How clean is your coffee?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Have you ever thought about the gunk that gets stuck under the gasket in your coffee lid?
Did you even know your gasket is not permanently attached to your coffee lid? It's just snapped on like a big silicone rubber band.

Since it's not glued on, whatever is in the cup can seep under the gasket. Even if your cup is not leaky, your gasket probably has a nice build up of black gunk underneath it.

And since the contents of your cup can seep under the gasket, whatever is under the gasket will mix with the beverage in your cup...

...and you are drinking it.

Is there gunk in your groove?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Is there gunk in your groove?

You should be able to pry the gasket out of the groove with your fingernail or the tip of a spoon.

After you peel out the gasket you may be surprised or shocked or just plain grossed out to see what kind of gunk is in the groove of your coffee lid. Scrub your gasket and scrub the groove.

You can even soak it in bleach water if it makes you feel better.

When it's dry, just pop it back on like a rubber band. Just make sure the gasket doesn't twist or you'll end up with a dribble glass. Not so fun if you're drinking coffee in the car on your way to work.

(Kind of fun if you loan the cup to someone else to drink out of... Use your best judgement, though, and don't blame me if they get a little testy about coffee drips down the front of their shirt.)

Clean your other mugs, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Clean your other mugs

Got other car coffee mugs? If one's dirty, they're all dirty. Pull the gasket off all your mug lids and give the gasket and channel a good scrub.

Brace yourself. It's gonna be gross.
And you were drinking out of these mugs! Eeeeew.

Fart Bars

Dear Fiber One,

I have been trying to increase my fiber intake and got bored with broccoli and brussels sprouts. Your cute (psychic?) spokesman with the British accent motivated me to try your chewy granola bars. Like the strange guy in various costumes on your ads, I fell in love with them.

I will stop here for a minute and say that unlike the strange costumed guy in your ads, I understood that suddenly adding 9g of fiber to my body within about 15 minutes could lead to a little discomfort - physical and social... to put it politely. So I restrained myself to eating just one of your very delicious bars per day.

I think it's also notable to tell you that when I bought these bars, I thought it was funny that the coupon that printed out with my grocery receipt was a coupon for Gas-X.

I should have taken it seriously. That coupon was a sign from God.

Every morning at work I have a delicious Oats & Caramel bar as a snack around 9:00am. By 2pm the rumbling starts and by 3pm I can't get any more work done because I'm running to the restroom every 15 minutes and praying that the noise doesn't travel through walls.

Oh, and you did read that right. I have one every morning and suffer the consequences every afternoon. I keep thinking my body will adjust and the noise will quiet down. After all, your advertising slogan is "Cardboard No. Delicious Yes." It doesn't say anything about the mega bass super vibrato symphony from down under.

Besides, I bought the economy size box and I hate wasting food. 

I could, however, leave it out on the snack table at work   ...anonymously

Why isn't there a warning label on this product? Something like "May cause excessive gas" would work just fine, but more accurately it could read "May cause loud abdominal gurgling, inability to concentrate, sphincter strengthening exercises, and a strong desire to isolate oneself from society until the feeling passes. Quite literally."

May I suggest a slight change to your slogan? It should more accurately be:

"Cardboard No. Delicious Yes.   
Oh Good Lord, have I just sharted?"

I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up another box of your scrumptious Fiber One bars. As much as I enjoy eating them, I have decided I really don't like trying not to explode in the office. I'll stick to your high fiber version of Pop Tarts, which taste a little cardboard-y but are a heck of a lot less farty.

PS: My daughter loves your bars but feels the same way I do about the fart-producing qualities. She decided this on her own after scarfing down three bars one morning and spending the rest of the afternoon and night making everyone else miserable.

Trust me on this. We were all miserable. It's winter and we live in a very small home.

...Except the dog, who kept sniffing the air and wagging his tail.
I guess he's the only one who really likes the fart bars.

The Light Side of the Pullover

The Light Side of the Pullover, originally uploaded by Stéfan.

The picture says it all...

I need new shoes

My old pair of Sketchers are just about shot. I wear them ALL THE TIME.

Have you tried the new ones that make your butt look good? My butt needs all the help it can get, and I'm sure my feet would appreciate some help too. Ok, they're not dress shoes, but my Nikes are uncomfortable and need to be replaced too. I wonder if they're comfy or if the rocking sole is like wearing a pair of chunky Steve Madden loafers.

(*Gasp!* An Oregonian is eschewing her Nikes for another brand?? Don't tell anyone, 'k?)

Frank wears Sketchers in the kitchen. He has for years. I wonder if they make a shape up style with non-slip soles?

If you're a little weirded out that all of a sudden I'm blogging about shoes, so am I. But our aching feet tell us it's shoe time.

Oh phooey ...and Sorry!

Today I noticed that a lot of my buttons are disabled because of a situation with my Photobucket account.

Using Photobucket always gives me a headache and I'm not in the mood to grind my teeth and raise my blood pressure, so instead of fixing the problem with Photobucket, I'm going to have to take a little time and revamp how I make the pictures available to be used as buttons.

Thanks in advance for your patience and I'll get it fixed as soon as I can get to it. I have several other projects to take care of first.

Meanwhile, if you have any tips on how to either extend days to 36 hours instead of 24, or want to be my sugar daddy so I can quit my day job and fiddle with computer-y things all day long, please comment below.

PS: I guess the fix was easier than I thought. I just had to log in to my Photobucket account. I am still going to find a better way to host my images, though.

PPS: If you're still thinking of a way to extend the day or you are considering becoming my sugar daddy, those invitations are still open. Please comment below with your offer.

☺

Four Letter Band Names

The other day Rachel and I were looking through CDs at the local Freddy's when we realized there are a lot of band/artist names that are just four letter words.
(The word "The" doesn't count.)

As we drove home we tried to think of all the music artists with a four-letter word as their name.

Can you think of any more to add to this list? I asked a lot of my friends and they helped to compile this list:

1. Abba
2. Rush
3. Korn
4. Fixx
5. Inxs
6. Cars
7. Enya
8. Devo
9. Styx
10. Moby
11. Seal
12. Dido
13. Beck
14. Kiss
15. UB40
16. ACDC
17. Yani
18. NOFX
19. Doom
20. Pras
21. Yo-yo
22. Ween
23. Z-man
24. Ne-Yo
25. Cake
26. RJD2
27. Bun B
28. EPMD
29. Cher
30. Mims
31. Lons