Thought for the day

Women are Angels and when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly.........


On a broomstick.



We are flexible.

Bacon biscuits

Bacon biscuits, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

There is no law against putting butter on top of a bacon biscuit, so I have not committed any crime here.

Recipe:
3c all purpose flour
4 tsp baking powder
1Tb sugar
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cream of tartar
3/4 c fat - most recipes call for shortening or butter; I used only bacon fat
1 1/4 c buttermilk

Sift the dry ingredients together. Cut in fat with a pastry blender until the mixture has a coarse sandy texture. Add the liquid and stir with a fork until just moistened.

Turn out onto floured surface (will be very sticky) and knead only about 3 or 4 times until mixture holds together.

Use a rolling pin and roll to about 1 inch thick. Cut into rounds with biscuit cutter or large drinking glass. Try to cut as many rounds as possible from the dough because biscuits made from the second rolling will not be as tender or flaky. You want to handle the dough as little as possible.

Place cut rounds onto flat, ungreased baking pan and bake in a hot oven (450F) for about 10 minutes.

Serve hot.

Try them split, spread with butter, and drizzled with pancake syrup.
Go ahead, it's not illegal... yet.

How clean is your coffee?

How clean is your coffee?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Have you ever thought about the gunk that gets stuck under the gasket in your coffee lid?
Did you even know your gasket is not permanently attached to your coffee lid? It's just snapped on like a big silicone rubber band.

Since it's not glued on, whatever is in the cup can seep under the gasket. Even if your cup is not leaky, your gasket probably has a nice build up of black gunk underneath it.

And since the contents of your cup can seep under the gasket, whatever is under the gasket will mix with the beverage in your cup...

...and you are drinking it.

Is there gunk in your groove?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Is there gunk in your groove?

You should be able to pry the gasket out of the groove with your fingernail or the tip of a spoon.

After you peel out the gasket you may be surprised or shocked or just plain grossed out to see what kind of gunk is in the groove of your coffee lid. Scrub your gasket and scrub the groove.

You can even soak it in bleach water if it makes you feel better.

When it's dry, just pop it back on like a rubber band. Just make sure the gasket doesn't twist or you'll end up with a dribble glass. Not so fun if you're drinking coffee in the car on your way to work.

(Kind of fun if you loan the cup to someone else to drink out of... Use your best judgement, though, and don't blame me if they get a little testy about coffee drips down the front of their shirt.)

Clean your other mugs, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Clean your other mugs

Got other car coffee mugs? If one's dirty, they're all dirty. Pull the gasket off all your mug lids and give the gasket and channel a good scrub.

Brace yourself. It's gonna be gross.
And you were drinking out of these mugs! Eeeeew.

Fart Bars

Dear Fiber One,

I have been trying to increase my fiber intake and got bored with broccoli and brussels sprouts. Your cute (psychic?) spokesman with the British accent motivated me to try your chewy granola bars. Like the strange guy in various costumes on your ads, I fell in love with them.

I will stop here for a minute and say that unlike the strange costumed guy in your ads, I understood that suddenly adding 9g of fiber to my body within about 15 minutes could lead to a little discomfort - physical and social... to put it politely. So I restrained myself to eating just one of your very delicious bars per day.

I think it's also notable to tell you that when I bought these bars, I thought it was funny that the coupon that printed out with my grocery receipt was a coupon for Gas-X.

I should have taken it seriously. That coupon was a sign from God.

Every morning at work I have a delicious Oats & Caramel bar as a snack around 9:00am. By 2pm the rumbling starts and by 3pm I can't get any more work done because I'm running to the restroom every 15 minutes and praying that the noise doesn't travel through walls.

Oh, and you did read that right. I have one every morning and suffer the consequences every afternoon. I keep thinking my body will adjust and the noise will quiet down. After all, your advertising slogan is "Cardboard No. Delicious Yes." It doesn't say anything about the mega bass super vibrato symphony from down under.

Besides, I bought the economy size box and I hate wasting food. 

I could, however, leave it out on the snack table at work   ...anonymously

Why isn't there a warning label on this product? Something like "May cause excessive gas" would work just fine, but more accurately it could read "May cause loud abdominal gurgling, inability to concentrate, sphincter strengthening exercises, and a strong desire to isolate oneself from society until the feeling passes. Quite literally."

May I suggest a slight change to your slogan? It should more accurately be:

"Cardboard No. Delicious Yes.   
Oh Good Lord, have I just sharted?"

I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up another box of your scrumptious Fiber One bars. As much as I enjoy eating them, I have decided I really don't like trying not to explode in the office. I'll stick to your high fiber version of Pop Tarts, which taste a little cardboard-y but are a heck of a lot less farty.

PS: My daughter loves your bars but feels the same way I do about the fart-producing qualities. She decided this on her own after scarfing down three bars one morning and spending the rest of the afternoon and night making everyone else miserable.

Trust me on this. We were all miserable. It's winter and we live in a very small home.

...Except the dog, who kept sniffing the air and wagging his tail.
I guess he's the only one who really likes the fart bars.

The Light Side of the Pullover

The Light Side of the Pullover, originally uploaded by Stéfan.

The picture says it all...