The "Great Winter Storm Freak-Out of 2008"

No Sunshine?

the end to a typical dinner at Dragon House, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

sunshine, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

gimme fortune cooky, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

no sunshine?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Holiday Eating Tips

Pam's note: I first saw this years ago and it circulates back to me
every few years. I love this one.

And no, Frank, I don't follow this religiously. ...Just parts of it.
Remember last Christmas I admitted to eating an awful lot of butter over
the holidays?

(Just kidding, mom. About following parts of the advice below. You
should already know about last year's Christmas butter diet; you started
it. Love you!)

________________________________
Eating Tips for the Holidays

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any
other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000
calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
"eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for
me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each.
Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor
Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Living room rearrange...

LR Re-Do, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

We've only been in the new place for two months - no, less than two months - and already I'm rearranging the living room. This is the view from the front door when Frank came home from work. Thank God he's a patient guy.

Oh, and just in case I haven't complained to absolutely everyone about the living room paint, the walls were supposed to be a teal-gray color. Not 1980's country blue. Oh well. It actually looks good with the dark furniture and yellow/red toned pictures and other decor.

I'll show you the finished room soon. I like it much better than the other arrangement. And yes, Rachel. I'll publicly announce that the new arrangement was your first idea when we moved in.

Which I vetoed.

You were right.

Just beyond the living room is the dining room. See that dark color on the wall above the sliding glass door? Wait until you see my dramatic and beautiful kitchen! Pictures coming soon, also. I just have to clean it up first - and figure out where to put homeless appliances to get them off the counters...

Fruitcake in a Jar

My foodie friend Todd and I have a fruitcake joke going back and forth. In our 40-hr-week crowd, we are probably the only two who will eat the stuff. Lately he's been emailing me all sorts of interesting fruitcake-related stuff and this one was just too good to not share.

Don't laugh - you may be getting some of this for Christmas!
But seriously, this would work well with other quick breads. Here's a link to the site where this recipe, and other "bread in a jar" recipes were discovered: http://www.astray.com/recipes/?show=Fruitcake+in+a+jar
-Pam

Fruitcake in a jar

Yield 8 Servings

2⅔ cup sugar
⅔ cup vegetable shortening
4 eggs
⅔ cup water
2 cups fruit (see note)
3½ cup all purpose flour
¼ teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
⅔ cup raisins or nuts

Use wide mouth pint size canning jars, do not use mayonnaise jars, etc. Be sure to sterilize the jars, and tops according to manufacturer's directions.
Grease the inside but not the rim of the jars to make batter: dredge the raisins and/or nuts in some of the flour.
Cream together the sugar and shortening. Beat in the eggs and water. Add the fruit. Sift together the flour, cloves, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda and salt. If desired, mix raisins and/or nuts into the batter. Note - the two cups of fruit is up to you. You can use any mixture of fruit that you like but no more than two cups.
• Two cups grated apple
• 1 1/2 cup applesauce and 1/2 cup pineapple,
• 2 cups shredded carrots,
• Mashed bananas, etc.
Pour batter into the sterilized jars 1 measuring cup of batter per jar. Do not use more or cake will overflow. And the jars will not seal. Place jars evenly spaced apart for browning on cookie sheet.
Place in preheated 325-degree oven.
Bake about 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Remove jars one at a time using two potholders (jars will be very hot) leave other jars in the oven but work fast. Wipe the rim. Place the metal disc on top in place then twist on screw ring to secure. You will hear it seal with a "ping" sound quite fast.
Open the oven, remove another jar and repeat.
Generally, any quick bread recipe works, but be sure to measure one cup of batter per jar. The cake will slide out whole, or it can be cut into sticks.
The cake should last for one year.
NOTES: great for gifts

Posted to Bakery-Shoppe Digest V1 #217 by Lea <lhoover@...> on Sep 04, 1997

smile awhile

Pam's note: OMG! Way back in the day (ok, it was 1998) when we got our
first computer and were hooked up to <strike>A-Oh-He11</strike> I mean
AOL (same thing) this was one of the first emails I received. I thought
it was so funny I printed it out and showed it to everyone at work and
we constantly laughed about it.

I'm not surprised it survived this long and eventually circulated back
to me again, ten years later. (More proof that you should not post
compromising photos of yourself online. Ever.)
Enjoy!
I hope you giggle at these until coffee comes out your nose - like what
happened to me ten years ago and again this afternoon...
----------------------------------

You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?

They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

You Boil The Hell Out Of It .

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?

A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?

Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?

Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?

Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?

Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?

Because They Have Big Fingers .

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley and a Hoover ?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?

Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!

A Bad Skydiver Goes, Dang! Whack .

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?

Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it.
At least one of these made you smile.

Standing in the Santiam River

Standing in the Santiam
Originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank

A meme was recently sent to me and since I can never answer the questions with just one or two words my long long reply is usually a good book.

One question wanted to know what I do to relax. Good question, since my favorite form of relaxation is only available in the summer. The holidays are coming and I think I'll need some winter relaxation suggestions.

Here's the question and my answer:

26. What do you do to relax?
I've got 3 boob tubes at home... I have a membership at Massage Envy in Keizer... No, for serious relaxation, how about standing waist-deep in water at the beach (I'd recommend something warmer than at the Oregon Coast, but you need big waves ... Lake Superior is a good choice) and letting the force of the waves push you back and forth. All those ions are really good for you. No beach with tolerable-warm water? Go to North Fork on the Santiam River and sit on a slightly submerged rock and let the water rush over your shoulders. That'll do the trick.

No, really, I'm serious!


What do you think would be a good winter alternative?

Wiggle Squiggle

After Caesar eats supper he comes to the living room where we're hanging out and does the Wiggle Squiggle. He rolls onto his back and twists back and forth like he's scratching his back. Then he rolls back over and rubs his muzzle into the carpet.

He's probably scent marking, but it's so darned cute.

This is Frank saying Wiggle Squiggle in sign language. There's no official sign for the word, but the visual says it all. Frank's fingers are wiggling like Caesar's legs.

Either that or Frank's signing something about a bug that has died and is kicking his legs one las time before he bites the dust. Happy Dog vs. Dying Bug... It's one or the other; both signs look the same.

Tina & Mike

Our patio

Our Patio, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

This is our patio, taken from the other side of that spider web. Yes, I walked around the arborvitae, not through the web. Ick. Oh, you can see the spider web at eye level, at the top of the picture.

This is it. That's all there is. The only thing you can't see is the raised flower bed behind the arborvitae. The kitchen sink is just inside the window. Beyond the next white lattice is our neighbor's patio. Small spaces.

Notice all the plums and yellow leaves on the patio? There's a plum tree on the other side of the fence (off-camera, to the right) - too bad we didn't have time to do something to capture the plums as they fell. If we weren't moving, I would have liked to make some plum jelly or something good for Christmas presents. Oh well... next year.