I'm a Natural

I'm clicking through the necessary things to be able to upload video to this blog and my other blog, Pam's Inbox. I figured that this time, instead of skimming the EULA I'd actually take the time to read it. (This is the "Click this box if you accept the Terms of Service" that everyone just clicks without bothering to read the fine print; usually with no adverse affects.) Not that I understand everything I'm reading. I'm no legal expert.

I hope I understand what they intended to say in this section:

You represent and warrant to Google the following: (a) You are at least 18 years of age if You are a natural person;

Uhh... I give my body a quick, perfunctory pat down and check a mirror in my desk drawer. No fake boobs or nose job: check. I eat Organic when I can, and try to stick to whole foods instead of processed foods: check. Not wearing makeup today, and very minimal hair products: check.

Yep. I'm a natural person. As best as I can be, anyway.

Hmm. I examine that phrase some more.

I am at least 18 years of age if I am a natural person.

So, does that mean I'm automatically at least 18? Would I be younger if I ate more McDonald's, had surgical enhancements to my body, and bothered to put on some mascara while en route to work? (Isn't that what red lights are for? Drive a little, primp a little. The more red lights I hit the better I look when I arrive. )

Or does that mean if I live like a treehugger I'm automatically old? If that's the case, why bother eating well and trying to get a full nights' sleep by staying in bed until the very last minute before rushing off to work, eschewing makeup and hairstyle to get there on time? (I use the term "on time" loosely here.)

I don't think I like the sound of that, Google. What exactly did you intend to say?
By the way, how old are the people in your legal dept and what do they look like?

By the way, I did click "I agree."

But oh, I just had a horrifying thought. If this is the first EULA I've actually read - because I normally just skim through and recklessly click "I agree," WHAT ELSE HAVE I AGREED TO?!"