Handerpants

A friend emailed this to me, and my first response was "...No."

But the more I look at these, the more I want a pair. If you know me as well as my family does, you'll understand why. Ok, well maybe you won't really understand why, but you won't be surprised that I want these.

The website lists these features:

Fits Most Hands
Breathable Cotton
Form Fitting
Prevents Chafing
Absorbs Sweat
Distracts Enemies Non Toxic
Great For Jazz Hands

What will I use mine for?

Frank, our anniversary's in a couple months, so there's still time to place your order...

Warning! Alarm System PMS

Warning! Alarm System PMS, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Yes, that probably keeps a lot of guys out...

Have you survived Monday?

I'm waiting to find out if the rest of my family did...

We told the teenager that there is to be no use of power tools without a grown up. She's doing online school from home for 8th grade (it's long story that starts with bullying...) She obeyed the No Power Tools rule, and decided to do some whittling/wood carving instead.

At noon.

She emailed me at 4 and said her thumb hurts but the bleeding has almost stopped.

That's when my heart stopped.

Since Frank is a chef who is oh-too-familiar with first aid (sharp knives and hot oven doors) I told her to have him examine the slice and gouge, and so I'm at work waiting to hear the news from "Dr. Dad" on whether I should go home or meet them at Urgent care for stitches.

*sigh* Yay, good times.

PS: Score one for Google. She Googled "first aid" and learned to clean the wound, apply pressure, and hold it above her head to make the bleeding stop.

I think that's when she said she then went back to whittling and turned the slice into a gouge.
...which is probably why it wouldn't stop bleeding the second time.

Microwave Peanut Brittle

This past Christmas Frank wanted peanut brittle. A friend of mine copied her microwave recipe and I had a stovetope recipe on standby... just in case. I don't trust microwave recipes after the "microwaved cupcake incident of 1983." Without having to describe the soggy wooden texture of these delicate cakes, I'm sure you understand my hesitation to microwave anything more than a frozen burrito.

Microwave Nut Brittle, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

This batch above (#4) is made with mixed nuts. 
The varying nut flavors are unexpected and fabulous.

The first batch - in the microwave - was slightly burnt and a little chewy. It was raining at the time, so it could have been the rain that caused the problems, but I blamed the microwave.

The second batch - on the stove - burned so badly I had to pour the liquid black sugar into the trash and start over.

The third batch - also on the stove - was watched carefully and tested as it cooked through each candy stage: soft ball, hard ball, hard crack... quick add the nuts, stir, add the baking soda... floooom! It puffed up over the top of the pot and all over the stove so quickly I didn't have time to stir. I hurried to pour the hot brittle onto the parchment covered pan and it went over the edge and hardened into a thick sticky inedible cement.

And it was burned, anyway.

The fourth and fifth batches were masterpieces.
And yes, they were made in the microwave. Would you like the recipe?

Mix together in 1 1/2 qt casserole:

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup white corn syrup

Microwave on high 4 minutes.

Stir in:

1 cup roasted salted peanuts

Microwave on high 4 minutes.

Add and blend well:

1 tsp butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

Microwave 1-2 minutes more. Peanuts will be lightly browned and the syrup very hot.

Add:

1 tsp baking soda (sifted)

Gently stir until light and foamy.

Pour mixture onto lightly greased cookie sheet, parchment, or silpat (a non-stick silicone baking mat). Let cool 1/2 to 1 hour. When cool, break into small pieces and store in airtight container.

Makes about 1 pound.

In batch #4 I substituted mixed nuts for the peanuts. 

In batch #5 I used peanuts but instead of vanilla I added a tsp of lime juice and about 2 tablespoons of chili powder. Oh yeah... This one is addictive. I've got to make a 6th batch of this variety, only I think I'm going to add a little cayenne to it so it has a more obvious kick.

Microwave Peanut Brittle with chili and lime, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Thought for the day

Women are Angels and when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly.........


On a broomstick.



We are flexible.

Bacon biscuits

Bacon biscuits, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

There is no law against putting butter on top of a bacon biscuit, so I have not committed any crime here.

Recipe:
3c all purpose flour
4 tsp baking powder
1Tb sugar
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cream of tartar
3/4 c fat - most recipes call for shortening or butter; I used only bacon fat
1 1/4 c buttermilk

Sift the dry ingredients together. Cut in fat with a pastry blender until the mixture has a coarse sandy texture. Add the liquid and stir with a fork until just moistened.

Turn out onto floured surface (will be very sticky) and knead only about 3 or 4 times until mixture holds together.

Use a rolling pin and roll to about 1 inch thick. Cut into rounds with biscuit cutter or large drinking glass. Try to cut as many rounds as possible from the dough because biscuits made from the second rolling will not be as tender or flaky. You want to handle the dough as little as possible.

Place cut rounds onto flat, ungreased baking pan and bake in a hot oven (450F) for about 10 minutes.

Serve hot.

Try them split, spread with butter, and drizzled with pancake syrup.
Go ahead, it's not illegal... yet.

How clean is your coffee?

How clean is your coffee?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Have you ever thought about the gunk that gets stuck under the gasket in your coffee lid?
Did you even know your gasket is not permanently attached to your coffee lid? It's just snapped on like a big silicone rubber band.

Since it's not glued on, whatever is in the cup can seep under the gasket. Even if your cup is not leaky, your gasket probably has a nice build up of black gunk underneath it.

And since the contents of your cup can seep under the gasket, whatever is under the gasket will mix with the beverage in your cup...

...and you are drinking it.

Is there gunk in your groove?, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Is there gunk in your groove?

You should be able to pry the gasket out of the groove with your fingernail or the tip of a spoon.

After you peel out the gasket you may be surprised or shocked or just plain grossed out to see what kind of gunk is in the groove of your coffee lid. Scrub your gasket and scrub the groove.

You can even soak it in bleach water if it makes you feel better.

When it's dry, just pop it back on like a rubber band. Just make sure the gasket doesn't twist or you'll end up with a dribble glass. Not so fun if you're drinking coffee in the car on your way to work.

(Kind of fun if you loan the cup to someone else to drink out of... Use your best judgement, though, and don't blame me if they get a little testy about coffee drips down the front of their shirt.)

Clean your other mugs, originally uploaded by Adventures of Pam & Frank.

Clean your other mugs

Got other car coffee mugs? If one's dirty, they're all dirty. Pull the gasket off all your mug lids and give the gasket and channel a good scrub.

Brace yourself. It's gonna be gross.
And you were drinking out of these mugs! Eeeeew.