Handerpants

A friend emailed this to me, and my first response was "...No."

But the more I look at these, the more I want a pair. If you know me as well as my family does, you'll understand why. Ok, well maybe you won't really understand why, but you won't be surprised that I want these.

The website lists these features:

Fits Most Hands
Breathable Cotton
Form Fitting
Prevents Chafing
Absorbs Sweat
Distracts Enemies Non Toxic
Great For Jazz Hands

What will I use mine for?

Frank, our anniversary's in a couple months, so there's still time to place your order...