Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Hooray, Hooray!
and "It's NOT MY FAULT!"

School starts today!

Here is our annual first day of school photo:

This was shot at home in front of the car because I correctly guessed that she wouldn't let me take a picture of her in front of the school. I didn't get a kiss or hug goodbye, either, but *sigh* I'll survive, I guess.

All of you moms with grown kids, here's a short story to bring back fond memories of the night before the first day of school...

Last night at 8:25pm, just as I was getting ready to leave work, Frank sent me an email to let me know she was at her best friend's house. Her best friend started High School yesterday and Rachel wanted to know how it was. (Ninth grade starts a day early to acclimate to all the new stuff before the upperclassmen get there.) Frank's email said Rachel would be home by 10:30pm.

Huh? Did he forget about school?

I called her on my way home and asked if she had everything ready to go. Yes, her bag was backed. Yes, her clothes were ready. Yes, she planned to get up at 6am and wanted to get to school early. I asked again, "Are ALL your clothes ready to go for tomorrow?" We tend to have laundry dramas in the morning and I wanted to nip it in the bud.

She assured me everything was ready to go.

You seasoned moms of former teens, stop laughing! I know you know where this story is going. (And yes, I swung by her friend's house to retrieve her on my way home from work.)

This morning she started harassing me at 5:45am. At 6:15 I rolled out of bed and started making her breakfast. She was hanging around and bugging me in the kitchen, still in pjs and bed-head.
"Get dressed while I cook," I directed.
"I can't."
"*sigh* Why not?"
"Because my pants are in the dryer."
"Why are they in the dryer?"
"Because I washed them."
"Why? What happened?"
"I washed them."
". . . When?"
"Last night."
"So... why are they in the dryer right now?"
"Because it was 11pm and I remembered they had to be put in the dryer and I was comfy and falling asleep and I forgot to put a note on the coffee maker to have Dad put them in the dryer when he got up* and it's NOT MY FAULT!"
*Frank gets up at about 3am to get ready for work.

"I thought you said everything was ready last night."
"Yeah, it was. It's NOT MY FAULT!"
"So why did you wash your jeans late last night?"
"Because they were dirty."
"How did they get dirty?"
I still thought something had happened between jeans-are-ready and getting-dressed-in-the-morning. Like maybe something spilled on them after the clean and neatly folded jeans had been set out the night before.
"Because I wore them. Tsk. God."
"But I don't get it. Why did you say everything was ready when it still needed to be washed?"
"Because they were ready to be washed! It's NOT MY FAULT!"
"Good grief. Go. Get out of the kitchen. Go get everything else ready to go out the door. When will the jeans be done?"
"Uh, 30 minutes. It's NOT MY FAULT!"

Yes, all you laughing moms, she said she had wanted to get to school early, which meant we had to be out the door in 20 minutes.

We were out the door in 30 minutes. She was wearing a pair of very hot but clean and dry jeans with a very hot zipper. (I didn't hear any complaining. I don't think she dared. If she had complained, I would have said, "It's NOT MY FAULT!") She got to school 20 minutes early so she could meet up with her friends and say hi to her favorite teachers from last year.

I was home by 7:30am, just in time to participate in my favorite first day of school ritual where I get to sit down with a cup of coffee and watch SpongeBob Square Pants before tackling my long to-do list. Since today is my Saturday (weird work schedule), I may watch a second episode of SpongeBob. Eh - it's my day off. If my to-do list doesn't get completely done today, It's NOT MY FAULT!

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